Happy Father's Day!
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:18
When Leslie and I first experienced infertility, Father's Day was a difficult holiday for me. It was painful to be reminded of my own personal barreness, and made it uncomfortable to share in the joy of other's fertility. Waking up on Father's Day Sunday I dreaded going to church, not because anyone looked down on me, but because I was still struggling with the "why" of my infertility.
Our church at the time was filled with loving and graceful people who made even the child-less in our congregation feel included on Father's Day. Not just on Father's Day, but every day of the year they celebrated the role that men play in the life of any congregation, whether they are fathers in the strictest sense of the word or not. I learned a lot from those wonderful people and their attitude toward the body of Christ.
Thinking about being infertile led me to think about what life would be like if I never had children at all. It was a sobering thought. Eventually I learned that we all play the brother, sister, father, mother role with everyone we know. Every one of us, male or female, plays a bigger role in the world and the Body of Christ than we allow ourselvs to imagine. Today I want to simply focus on the male aspect of these roles only because it's Father's Day. Many of these ideas and thoughts apply to women as well.
Father's Day is not simply a celebration of the Father's in our lives and in our midst, but an acknowledgement that males fill a unique roll in our families, churches, and communities. Whether you have children or not, you are probably filling many roles as "father" to several people.
When we mentor another man, we are being a father to them, encouraging them and blessing them to be all that God intends for them to be. This is vitally important because, as many of us know, not all of our biological father's were very good at that, and have left many of us wounded. As male friends, we sometimes step into those roles making a huge difference in another man's life.
My dear friend Mark in CA was a great mentor to me in business. He encouraged me to try things I would never consider doing. My own father was not an entreprenuer and would not have given me the same counsel Mark did. Today, I am less afraid of trying new things, or reinventing myself if the need arises. I am more flexible and resiliant thanks to Mark's genuine encouragement. Encouraging others to stretch and do more than they think they can is what a father does.
When we see another man for all that he is, warts and all, we see the real person God has crafted, and only then can we love for real. Knowing the heart of another man is difficult; men do not easily share. We put up walls, create defenses, set booby traps for those who venture too near to our fragile, needy selves. When we can be the kind of friend that knows another man, sometimes almost as well as he knows himself, we can help to give him clarity when he is struggling.
One day I met with Bill for breakfast. Bill was a mentor and advisor when I owned my first company. I was having a particuarly difficult time financially and emotionally and I was seeking wisdom (and a shoulder to cry on). After sharing my concerns I finally said, "I guess I am just insecure." To my utter surprise Bill threw his head back and let out a huge laugh, loud enough for everyone in the restaurant to hear. I was a bit embarrassed. Finally, after his chuckling subsided enough for him to speak he explained. "Chris, insecure people don't start their own companies," he told me with a twinkle in his eye. "You might be a lot of things, but insecure is not one of them." His words entered my heart and healed something I didn't even know was a wound. Knowing someone well enough to speak the truth in love is what a father does.
When we walk alongside another man in trials, we are being a father to them. We help them to hold their head up high, watch their back, run interference, and provide a safe place to ask God the "whys" that burden their hearts. We are there with a manly hug, a cup of steaming coffee, a day on the links, a helping hand. We give them our time, and that is what fathers do.
After moving to Texas I was laid off from my dream job - CTO at a public technology company. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was out for the count, numb, emotionally and spiritually. I wasn't even coherent enough to be mad at God. I just crumbled. But my friend Scott called me one day and told me to get in the shower, put on some clothes, and meet him for a cup of coffee. I picked myself literally off the floor, got ready and met him at a local Starbucks. There he encouraged me, prayed for me, and made sure I didn't stay on the floor. Keeping us going when we want to quit is what fathers do.
When we share in another man's dreams and joy, we validate his holy ambition and encourage the best he has to give. We underestimate the power of our words. What we say has the power to help or to hurt. Sharing another man's sorrows is a good thing; but to share another man's dreams and joys is far more intimate. To know what drives a man, what makes his heart sing, is an intimacy not often found or exposed. The right to share it must be earned.
In the most painful, darkest trial of my life I had three friends that gathered around me to protect me, pray for me, and encourage me. But more importantly, they became the men I shared my hopes and dreams with. We lived life together and we knew each other's deeper treasures - what drives us. We encouraged each other, stuck up for each other, challenged each other. Reguarly we reminded each other that God wanted us to do great things, and generally that mean simply showing up - being there for our families, friends, church, and community. Being there when we were needed, and then not being afraid to pitch in. They encouraged me and taught me how intimacy needs to be earned and that is what a father does.
Don't get me wrong, I had a great Dad, one I loved and respected greatly. He died a little over a year ago, and his homegoing to heaven was sweet. His relationship with God, the best father of all, had changed him for the better over the years. The man that left us was not the man my mother married over 60 years ago.
But Dad was not perfect, and I needed, and still need, other men to fill father roles in my life, even as I do in the lives of others. It is to you, those men who fill the father roles in the lives around you, even if you do not have children yourself, that I celebrate today. I salute you, and pray that you will continue to be there for those in your life.
Before my father passed he was able to go on a spiritual retreat called Tres Dias. I worked that weekend as a table helper. Many times Dad was told that he was blessing the lives of many of the men there. "Why do they keep saying that?" he asked me. "I'm not doing anything." I thought about his question for a minute and then remembered something I had been told many years before. "Dad, you are just showing up." He frowned, not yet understanding me. "Think about how many father's simply never showed up - for anything. Just being here, commiting three whole days to this retreat is something special for many of these men." A smile crossed his face. He finally understood.
More often than we would like to admit, it is not the stuff we do, but the showing up that matters most. Showing up for the game, the party, the graduation, and dinner. Being available for our marriages and our relationships. Being there matters more than we know, and we need to be there for those closest to us. That is real fatherhood. And I think, maybe more than just a little, that God is very, very pleased when we do show up.
"The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the surrounding influence and qualities produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to give our attention to, and it is the one thing that is continually under attack." - Oswald Chambers
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Good Friday - A Protestant's Review
Growing up a fundamentalist protestant I never gave much thought to Good Friday. I never really knew anyone who celebrated it much. We didn't. Easter was our holiday, the Ressurection being of much greater importance. Once I saw an Easter program on TV that was done by the Catholic Church. How strange it seemed all the fuss and focus on Jesus' suffering and death. I didn't understand the stations of the Cross, and felt uncomfortable with all the focus on Jesus' suffering.
Then, in 2004, The movie, The Passion of the Christ hit theaters. I heard what others were saying about it - some liked it others thought it too Catholic. I expected it to dwell on the suffering and death of Jesus. I was not dissapointed.
But I was a different person now, sitting in the dark watching Jesus die for me. It was powerful, more powerful than I had expected. Tears streamed down my face as I watched them beat Jesus to a bloody pulp. This was not a sanitized portrayal of the facts. It was brutal and earthy. Perhaps we needed a generation raised on movies like 300 and Lord of the Rings for us to be bold enough to show on the screen the reality of our suffering Savior. This Fundamentalist needed the jolt of reality.
Most Evangelical Christians applauded the movie, but cautiously kept younger children away. My wife and I also did not take our young daughter, but did take our teenage son. But most Fundamentalists pointed out that it was a "Catholic" movie and as such should be avoided. The bloody scenes and violence were excessive. I could sense the Catholic undertones in the movie, but could appreciate that everyone everywhere needed to see what really happened on that Good Friday almost 2,000 years ago. The depth of the valley on Good Friday only accentuates the mountain top of Easter morning!
This furious love of God toward me takes my breath away. I continue to remind myself that Jesus suffered because he loves me. That is almost too much to bear. In response I find myself moving more toward a solemn and respectful observance of this day. I may not participate in Lent, or Ash Wednesday, and other observances, but my mind turns toward that day and the blood shed and the life given. It was shed and given, after all, on my behalf.
I never want to forget that.
Then, in 2004, The movie, The Passion of the Christ hit theaters. I heard what others were saying about it - some liked it others thought it too Catholic. I expected it to dwell on the suffering and death of Jesus. I was not dissapointed.
But I was a different person now, sitting in the dark watching Jesus die for me. It was powerful, more powerful than I had expected. Tears streamed down my face as I watched them beat Jesus to a bloody pulp. This was not a sanitized portrayal of the facts. It was brutal and earthy. Perhaps we needed a generation raised on movies like 300 and Lord of the Rings for us to be bold enough to show on the screen the reality of our suffering Savior. This Fundamentalist needed the jolt of reality.
Most Evangelical Christians applauded the movie, but cautiously kept younger children away. My wife and I also did not take our young daughter, but did take our teenage son. But most Fundamentalists pointed out that it was a "Catholic" movie and as such should be avoided. The bloody scenes and violence were excessive. I could sense the Catholic undertones in the movie, but could appreciate that everyone everywhere needed to see what really happened on that Good Friday almost 2,000 years ago. The depth of the valley on Good Friday only accentuates the mountain top of Easter morning!
This furious love of God toward me takes my breath away. I continue to remind myself that Jesus suffered because he loves me. That is almost too much to bear. In response I find myself moving more toward a solemn and respectful observance of this day. I may not participate in Lent, or Ash Wednesday, and other observances, but my mind turns toward that day and the blood shed and the life given. It was shed and given, after all, on my behalf.
I never want to forget that.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Theologians and Astronomers
Theologians can be like Astronomers. They study stuff the average person will never see and learn things that will never matter in our lives.
Astronomers seek out knowledge about planets and stars millions of miles away from us. Often what they discover or learn does not touch our everyday lives. Most of what they know (or theorize) is beyond the grasp of you and me. We are just not smart enough. And if we could understand, we would quickly learn that the gas pillars in the beautiful Eagle Nebula where astronomers believer stars are born don't really effect us. They are more than 6,500 light years away. That means that it took the light from that area 6,500 years to reach earth. http://hubblesite.org/gallery/album/pr1995044a/
Beautiful? Absolutely, the images hold my attention for hours. Useful as I walk out the door to scrape a living for me and my family? Not so much.
Theologians seek out knowledge about God and much of what they study also does not touch our everyday lives. It is the stuff of debates among Theologians. Most of what they know (or theorize) about God is beyond the grasp of you and me. And if we could understand it we might find that it is not helpful in our spiritual or daily lives.
This information might be interesting trivia, but it feeds the ego more than the soul.
What ever happened to a rabid study of the Love of God and Christ?
Ephesians 3:14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (TNIV)
I dare say if we strive for knowledge we will lack in love. But if we strive to know the multi-dimensions of the love of Christ, we will know this love that surpasses knowledge, and, (this is the most exciting part) we will be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. That is the knowledge we should seek.
Is it any wonder that those groups who push a hate agenda can easily quote God, but strangely leave Jesus out of it?
Do I want to be like Jesus? Then I need to study his love. Theologians, you want to know God? Search out the height, depth, width and breath of his love. Pastors, do you want a flock filled with the Spirit, examples of the indwelling Christ? Teach them love. You and I can argue all day that having the right theology about God is critical, but I often wonder if that is truly the case since we can't fully know God anyway.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 (TNIV)
If I want to truly know God, I must not stop at the Old Testament looking for descriptions of God and the corresponding proof texts. These are all well and good, but they lack relevance, they lack power. Priests, full of the knowledge of God in the OT were just as easily corrupted as the everyday person. God even told them he was sick of their mindless, empty worship and would rather they deal in justice and do the right thing, like take care of the fatherless and widows.
Jesus, who is the express image of God, reminded us of God's frustration with mindless empty devotion. It is Him I should be studying. Colossians 1:15. If I want to see the Father, I need to look very closely at Jesus.
Astronomers seek out knowledge about planets and stars millions of miles away from us. Often what they discover or learn does not touch our everyday lives. Most of what they know (or theorize) is beyond the grasp of you and me. We are just not smart enough. And if we could understand, we would quickly learn that the gas pillars in the beautiful Eagle Nebula where astronomers believer stars are born don't really effect us. They are more than 6,500 light years away. That means that it took the light from that area 6,500 years to reach earth. http://hubblesite.org/gallery/album/pr1995044a/
Beautiful? Absolutely, the images hold my attention for hours. Useful as I walk out the door to scrape a living for me and my family? Not so much.
Theologians seek out knowledge about God and much of what they study also does not touch our everyday lives. It is the stuff of debates among Theologians. Most of what they know (or theorize) about God is beyond the grasp of you and me. And if we could understand it we might find that it is not helpful in our spiritual or daily lives.
This information might be interesting trivia, but it feeds the ego more than the soul.
What ever happened to a rabid study of the Love of God and Christ?
Ephesians 3:14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (TNIV)
I dare say if we strive for knowledge we will lack in love. But if we strive to know the multi-dimensions of the love of Christ, we will know this love that surpasses knowledge, and, (this is the most exciting part) we will be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. That is the knowledge we should seek.
Is it any wonder that those groups who push a hate agenda can easily quote God, but strangely leave Jesus out of it?
Do I want to be like Jesus? Then I need to study his love. Theologians, you want to know God? Search out the height, depth, width and breath of his love. Pastors, do you want a flock filled with the Spirit, examples of the indwelling Christ? Teach them love. You and I can argue all day that having the right theology about God is critical, but I often wonder if that is truly the case since we can't fully know God anyway.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8 (TNIV)
If I want to truly know God, I must not stop at the Old Testament looking for descriptions of God and the corresponding proof texts. These are all well and good, but they lack relevance, they lack power. Priests, full of the knowledge of God in the OT were just as easily corrupted as the everyday person. God even told them he was sick of their mindless, empty worship and would rather they deal in justice and do the right thing, like take care of the fatherless and widows.
Jesus, who is the express image of God, reminded us of God's frustration with mindless empty devotion. It is Him I should be studying. Colossians 1:15. If I want to see the Father, I need to look very closely at Jesus.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Do I really grasp the wonder of God's Grace?
The basic premise: Humankind is totally depraved, completely uninterested in God or goodness, and dead to all things spiritual, bound for hell. But there is good news! God loves a select few Humans that he grants the power to awaken from their death and they cannot resist! So, say the sinner's prayer after me so that you too can be saved, and you must decided now because you could die tonight in your sleep and you will end up going to hell.
This was, in a nutshell, the basic premise of my Christianity for almost half of my life (at this point at least). It didn't matter that the premise itself seems contradictory in many places and does not sound so much like a love story as it does an act of pity. Many times I have had to contend with these contradictions.
If Humankind is totally depraved and hates God, and is dead in sin, unable to hear God or know anything about God, then why does God command Humankind to seek him?
"If thou seek him, he will be found of thee.." David tells Solomon (1 Chron. 28:9). I just made a quick count in the KJV for all the verses that deal with seeking God, both Jews and Gentiles, and found a total of 59. The verses that declare no one seeks God, or those who seek will not find God (or enter the gate) total 12. Obviously many seek, but will not find, but many who do seek, and with their "whole heart" are promised they will find God. I think we should be studying the 59 verses more. Why have we focused on only 12?
There are 57 verses explicitly talking about God's love for "us", the Jews and Gentiles. 13 verses refer specifically to Israel (the Jews).
Some say that God hates sinners and sin. Again, a look through the Bible finds 15 verses about what God hates, and only once is it used against a person - Esau. It really is only 14 verses because the reference to Esau in Romans 9:13 is a quote of Malachi 1:3. God hates evil, lying pride, murder of the innocent, falsehood, empty worship. Yes, there are verses in Psalms that state God hates those who hate him, but that is poetry and hyperbole is common in poetry.
If Humankind cannot resist God's call, and in fact must be aroused to be able to hear it at all, why the rush to have them pray the sinner's prayer? If they are selected by God, then it will happen eventually. If not, telling them they might die and go to hell because they failed to make a choice they don't really even have is kinda strange.
I think it is much more simple than all that. Yes, we are sinners, but we also long for God deep in our hearts. Some of us have killed that longing, or numbed it with pleasure, evil, or drugs. Some truly hate God. God loves them and he longs for them to respond to his love. We can't lift ourselves to God or bridge the gap between us and God. He has to give us his righteousness. That is Grace.
We also must make a choice, an eternal, profound choice, to accept his love, or to reject it. I firmly believe that God orchestrates things in the world for each of us to catch a glimpse of him and his love. That is also Grace.
There is a sense of urgency because it is a choice. We often chose simply by refusing to act. That is why God and Jesus constantly say in the Bible, "Come". That too is Grace.
And after we choose, we are given help to change from the inside out, transformed by a powerful change agent called Love. This is the ultimate Grace, the game changer. Saving Grace does just that, it saves us. Ongoing Grace transforms us, conforming us to the image of Jesus. It takes the Law and somehow writes it on our hearts in the most simple of formulas - Love God, Love Yourself, Love Others.
Yet, with all this wonder I still struggle to believe that God simply loves me. After so many years of trying hard to please him, to make myself worthy of his Love I doubt he truly loves me, especially when I see how imperfect I truly am.
As I live my life of Grace on the stage of my life, God will give me opportunities to testify of his Love and Grace. But most of the time I am just living my life, interacting with saints and sinners alike. They are watching. Living my life IS my testimony.
When I was younger we were asked, "If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I now like to ask myself, "If Christianity was outlawed, would anyone ever suspect me of being a Christian?" The difference is subtle, but important. Something to really think about.
Do I grasp the wonder of God's Grace? At times I do. Most of the time I do. Lord, help me when I don't. Amen.
This was, in a nutshell, the basic premise of my Christianity for almost half of my life (at this point at least). It didn't matter that the premise itself seems contradictory in many places and does not sound so much like a love story as it does an act of pity. Many times I have had to contend with these contradictions.
If Humankind is totally depraved and hates God, and is dead in sin, unable to hear God or know anything about God, then why does God command Humankind to seek him?
"If thou seek him, he will be found of thee.." David tells Solomon (1 Chron. 28:9). I just made a quick count in the KJV for all the verses that deal with seeking God, both Jews and Gentiles, and found a total of 59. The verses that declare no one seeks God, or those who seek will not find God (or enter the gate) total 12. Obviously many seek, but will not find, but many who do seek, and with their "whole heart" are promised they will find God. I think we should be studying the 59 verses more. Why have we focused on only 12?
There are 57 verses explicitly talking about God's love for "us", the Jews and Gentiles. 13 verses refer specifically to Israel (the Jews).
Some say that God hates sinners and sin. Again, a look through the Bible finds 15 verses about what God hates, and only once is it used against a person - Esau. It really is only 14 verses because the reference to Esau in Romans 9:13 is a quote of Malachi 1:3. God hates evil, lying pride, murder of the innocent, falsehood, empty worship. Yes, there are verses in Psalms that state God hates those who hate him, but that is poetry and hyperbole is common in poetry.
If Humankind cannot resist God's call, and in fact must be aroused to be able to hear it at all, why the rush to have them pray the sinner's prayer? If they are selected by God, then it will happen eventually. If not, telling them they might die and go to hell because they failed to make a choice they don't really even have is kinda strange.
I think it is much more simple than all that. Yes, we are sinners, but we also long for God deep in our hearts. Some of us have killed that longing, or numbed it with pleasure, evil, or drugs. Some truly hate God. God loves them and he longs for them to respond to his love. We can't lift ourselves to God or bridge the gap between us and God. He has to give us his righteousness. That is Grace.
We also must make a choice, an eternal, profound choice, to accept his love, or to reject it. I firmly believe that God orchestrates things in the world for each of us to catch a glimpse of him and his love. That is also Grace.
There is a sense of urgency because it is a choice. We often chose simply by refusing to act. That is why God and Jesus constantly say in the Bible, "Come". That too is Grace.
And after we choose, we are given help to change from the inside out, transformed by a powerful change agent called Love. This is the ultimate Grace, the game changer. Saving Grace does just that, it saves us. Ongoing Grace transforms us, conforming us to the image of Jesus. It takes the Law and somehow writes it on our hearts in the most simple of formulas - Love God, Love Yourself, Love Others.
Yet, with all this wonder I still struggle to believe that God simply loves me. After so many years of trying hard to please him, to make myself worthy of his Love I doubt he truly loves me, especially when I see how imperfect I truly am.
As I live my life of Grace on the stage of my life, God will give me opportunities to testify of his Love and Grace. But most of the time I am just living my life, interacting with saints and sinners alike. They are watching. Living my life IS my testimony.
When I was younger we were asked, "If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I now like to ask myself, "If Christianity was outlawed, would anyone ever suspect me of being a Christian?" The difference is subtle, but important. Something to really think about.
Do I grasp the wonder of God's Grace? At times I do. Most of the time I do. Lord, help me when I don't. Amen.
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