The basic premise: Humankind is totally depraved, completely uninterested in God or goodness, and dead to all things spiritual, bound for hell. But there is good news! God loves a select few Humans that he grants the power to awaken from their death and they cannot resist! So, say the sinner's prayer after me so that you too can be saved, and you must decided now because you could die tonight in your sleep and you will end up going to hell.
This was, in a nutshell, the basic premise of my Christianity for almost half of my life (at this point at least). It didn't matter that the premise itself seems contradictory in many places and does not sound so much like a love story as it does an act of pity. Many times I have had to contend with these contradictions.
If Humankind is totally depraved and hates God, and is dead in sin, unable to hear God or know anything about God, then why does God command Humankind to seek him?
"If thou seek him, he will be found of thee.." David tells Solomon (1 Chron. 28:9). I just made a quick count in the KJV for all the verses that deal with seeking God, both Jews and Gentiles, and found a total of 59. The verses that declare no one seeks God, or those who seek will not find God (or enter the gate) total 12. Obviously many seek, but will not find, but many who do seek, and with their "whole heart" are promised they will find God. I think we should be studying the 59 verses more. Why have we focused on only 12?
There are 57 verses explicitly talking about God's love for "us", the Jews and Gentiles. 13 verses refer specifically to Israel (the Jews).
Some say that God hates sinners and sin. Again, a look through the Bible finds 15 verses about what God hates, and only once is it used against a person - Esau. It really is only 14 verses because the reference to Esau in Romans 9:13 is a quote of Malachi 1:3. God hates evil, lying pride, murder of the innocent, falsehood, empty worship. Yes, there are verses in Psalms that state God hates those who hate him, but that is poetry and hyperbole is common in poetry.
If Humankind cannot resist God's call, and in fact must be aroused to be able to hear it at all, why the rush to have them pray the sinner's prayer? If they are selected by God, then it will happen eventually. If not, telling them they might die and go to hell because they failed to make a choice they don't really even have is kinda strange.
I think it is much more simple than all that. Yes, we are sinners, but we also long for God deep in our hearts. Some of us have killed that longing, or numbed it with pleasure, evil, or drugs. Some truly hate God. God loves them and he longs for them to respond to his love. We can't lift ourselves to God or bridge the gap between us and God. He has to give us his righteousness. That is Grace.
We also must make a choice, an eternal, profound choice, to accept his love, or to reject it. I firmly believe that God orchestrates things in the world for each of us to catch a glimpse of him and his love. That is also Grace.
There is a sense of urgency because it is a choice. We often chose simply by refusing to act. That is why God and Jesus constantly say in the Bible, "Come". That too is Grace.
And after we choose, we are given help to change from the inside out, transformed by a powerful change agent called Love. This is the ultimate Grace, the game changer. Saving Grace does just that, it saves us. Ongoing Grace transforms us, conforming us to the image of Jesus. It takes the Law and somehow writes it on our hearts in the most simple of formulas - Love God, Love Yourself, Love Others.
Yet, with all this wonder I still struggle to believe that God simply loves me. After so many years of trying hard to please him, to make myself worthy of his Love I doubt he truly loves me, especially when I see how imperfect I truly am.
As I live my life of Grace on the stage of my life, God will give me opportunities to testify of his Love and Grace. But most of the time I am just living my life, interacting with saints and sinners alike. They are watching. Living my life IS my testimony.
When I was younger we were asked, "If you were arrested for being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" I now like to ask myself, "If Christianity was outlawed, would anyone ever suspect me of being a Christian?" The difference is subtle, but important. Something to really think about.
Do I grasp the wonder of God's Grace? At times I do. Most of the time I do. Lord, help me when I don't. Amen.
Wonderful post Mr. Williams.
ReplyDeleteFor the first half of my life I truly believed that God didn't know I existed. To me that was even worse than being 'hated' by God. To be hated by God means that God knew who I was and took the time to pay attention to either approve or disapprove of what I was doing.
But to feel completely unknown to God...well, I cannot imagine a greater hell than that. These days I no longer feel abandoned or forgotten by the divine. I have to remember that his knowledge, grace, wisdom, love and understanding far exceed my own. I have come to that conclusion by looking at my own life...successes and failures. Triumphs and tribulations. God really does love me. He gives me total free will to make my own decisions.
Look, the way I see it...if God wanted us all to be perfect we would have made us that way. A friend once told me "maybe the perfection is in the imperfection".
God loves us all unconditionally. He adores us for being willing to go through the process. All of us on earth came from the realm of the infinite....where only beauty, truth and love reside. We came with the challenge of shining our light in a world where we forget our true nature, our true essence. Ah, but only if we could remember....to shine the light that is inherent in all of us. To know and understand fully what Jesus meant when he said "The kingdom of heaven is within you" for it truly is.
Wayne Dyer once said that there are only two choices in life....to move towards God or move away from God. Sometimes people have to do the most evil things and reach rock bottom before they realize or are even motivated to seek God. And some of those people go on to do great things. They become great healers and great teachers. That is why it is not our place to judge for for no one knows what the life path is for any particular soul except God.
So please, as we are instructed...do not judge others which also means do not judge yourself. Trust that God has a plan and path made specifically just for you. Just take comfort that even in the searching God is very pleased with your effort.
Thanks for those words of encouragement. C.S. Lewis said a similar thing when he stated that we are becoming more heavenly creatures or more hellish.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult not to judge others after living many years doing so. And if I can conquer that, I still must struggle with judging myself. But as I let the love of God sink in, these older patterns and habits begin to seem silly and strange. No wonder the Bible says to "walk in love", it is a daily journey.